ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
