The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
