toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
