I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I want you more than these girls want KFC
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
