your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
