i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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