I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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