Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
