Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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