My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
