I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Randomize
