I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
