apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Drunk is not a location!
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
