ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize
