WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
