Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
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