Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
