Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
