You're so nebulous sometimes
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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