we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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