Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
