I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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