I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
