i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I will pee on everything he values.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
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