quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
