i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
