WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
