Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
