we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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