I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
