He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
