so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
