Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
