I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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