Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
