Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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