I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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