There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
