yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
