I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
