tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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