I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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