She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize
