first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
