The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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