it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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