Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
