Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
