youre lurking in front of me
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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