where am i from again
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
